10 powerful lessons from the book "How to win friends and influence people"

1. Do Not Criticize, Condemn or Complain

Carnegie writes, “Any fool can criticize, condemn or complain- and most fools do".

Don't be a fool.

2. Be Generous With Praise

You won't find any person, however great or exalted in their station who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than they would ever do under a spirit of criticism.

3. Remember Their Name

Remembering people’s names when you meet them is difficult.

You casually meet a lot of people so it’s challenging but if you can train yourself to remember people’s names.

It makes them feel special and important.

4. Be Genuinely Interested In Other People

Remembering a person’s name, asking them questions that encourage them to talk about themselves so you discover their interests and passions are what make people believe you like them, so they in turn like you.

5. Know The Value Of Charm

Become someone people want to talk to, be genuinely interested in other people

Because it will enrich your life and open so many more doors than you ever thought possible.

6. Be Quick To Acknowledge Your Own Mistakes

Nothing will make people less defensive and more agreeable than you being humble and reasonable enough to admit your own mistakes.

7. Don’t Attempt To “Win” An Argument

The best way to win any argument, Carnegie writes, is to avoid it.

Even if you completely dismantle someone’s argument with objective facts, you won’t be any closer to reaching an agreement than if you made personal arguments.

8. Begin On Common Ground

If you are having a disagreement with someone

You start on common ground and ease your way into the difficult subject and not the other way around.

9. Have Others Believe Your Conclusion Is Their Own

People can not be forced to believe anything.

Learn to plant the seed and instead of telling people they’re wrong

Find the common ground and persuade them that what they really want is your desired outcome.

10. Make People Feel Important

Smiling, knowing people’s names, praising people, making an effort to know their interests and chat about them make people feel important.

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